Jung's Sofa

Deleting the Best Part of You

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“Every dream, every possibility, and every journey –real or imagined – begins with two words, “what if…”

You know I’m only here so we could talk. So pull up a chair and sit down because we have much to discuss. “What?” you ask. Well, everything really. Hopes, dreams, the things we want, those we can’t have, the stuff we’d die for, and of course, perhaps most importantly—the things we’re too afraid to pursue. There’s plenty on that list isn’t there? We’re writers after all, so who knows better than us of all the things our words refuse to say?

People misjudge us all the time. Many too busy bashing with those foolish preconceived notions that writer’s are narcissistic, fame hounds to really understand the things that lie within the author. The joy, the pain, the hope, the fear, the courage. Courage may seem a funny word for someone who lives in his head and not on a battlefield. But isn’t there bravery in being the first to ask, “what if?” When we answer, don’t we put a piece of ourselves on that page for others to examine? Don’t we work so hard to mask that raw emotion in colors of plot and textures of dialog? Is anyone else so honest?

And that’s what I wanted to speak with you about—what if? What if you really went for it? The honesty in your writing I mean. I know you’re holding back on us a bit. That some of the best of you has been deleted from that page. Worries that people might not understand, that they might laugh, that some set of rules mean you can’t be you, some false belief that we don’t want the real you. That’s not the real problem, of course.

Honesty takes courage. Honesty with one’s self the most courage. The world isn’t holding you back, you are. What matter is the opinions from the land of strangers? How can they really see you anyway—you can’t even see the real you in the mirror. You only see the things you believe will make the world reject you. But in truth, you are only hiding from yourself. And yet you remain so close.

It’s why you write. Not to speak in plots, but to whisper in truth. The truth of who you are and all the things you think and all that you feel. You want to say it all. You want people to laugh with you, cry with you, to stand in awe at how beautiful this world is when seen through your wonderful eyes. But still you delete the best of you from the page.

It takes courage to give so much of yourself for all to see. To, with the unfettered passion of your heart, chase those dreams. And there is fear. Fear that the words aren’t good enough, that in rejecting their meaning people may also reject your meaning. Except it’s not true. Because inside all of us is that same fear and the solace we find is when we see it in others and realize we aren’t really alone—the safety and warmth in those honest numbers.

I want you to win. I want you to catch your dreams. I want you to win by being you. Because if I can see you, the real you, in your words, then I too might find such courage to show the real me in mine. So what if? What if you told me that story you really want to tell me? What if you didn’t try to imagine “how” I might accept your words and just gave me the true, honest ones? What if you didn’t delete the best part of you from the page?

I would love that and I would love you for sharing it. Some people might run in fear from such a thing. Fear that they may be asked to do the same. Fear because they aren’t you and me. They aren’t ready to be the real them. They’re still following all the rules no one ever really made. Doing the right thing, being the right person, writing the right book. But that’s why I asked you here. Because you and I, we’re trying for something a little different. Something a little more honest…something a little more us. We’re not here to rationalize the right reasons that we do the wrong things. We make many things up, but never the stuff that’s in our hearts. We leave those lies for others. We’re writers and honesty is the raft we ride through that sea of fiction.

I see that dream you know? It’s there in your eyes and your expression. I know it well. I see it each morning when I look in my own mirror. And that’s why I brought you here, because I want to tell you to chase that passion, to pursue that dream, I’m cheering for you and I’d give you the courage to do it, if such was mine to give. But what if? What if you just did it? Just put that story, the real one inside of you, onto that page. And lived that real story—the story that is you. It’s scary I know, but here’s what I believe most of all—if you do it, your world will love you.

So go out there and be you. And damn those who are frightened or angered by your honesty. Be you for all of us who want you to win. Be you for everyone who has ever read “the end” and said “wow.” Be you for everyone who has ever found a piece of themselves in a book. Be you for everyone still too afraid. Be you because we can’t find you otherwise. Be you because it’s the most beautiful version.

Categories: Jung's Sofa, On Writing

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4 replies »

  1. Wow. This is amazing, inspiring, encouraging, and it really speaks directly to the writer in me. I feel like its confession time, don’t you just love those? Well, I confess to being a Chronic Deleter :-/ & I live in fear of exactly what you wrote. But then I don’t know a writer who doesn’t feel the same so I wish more of “our kind” read this post…hmm, I may have to reblog this, you know, as public service lol.

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